LOVING  ONESELF

 by Wolfgang Arndt

Is loving oneself selfish and loving others good? Should I enlighten myself first before looking out for the enlightenment of others?
What is better, which path should we go?

How can I be happy if I do not love myself?
How can I love others if I do not know how to love myself?
Are loving my self and loving other connected in some way? 

How can I be happy if I do not love myself?

I am the closest neighbor to myself, I have secrets from myself, I feel that I have done things wrong and failed many people. How
many reasons do I have not to love myself? And how many reasons do I have to love myself?  

Maybe it helps to understand: what I do love in another? In my personal case loving appreciation always develops when I see an
ideal in something/somebody. Strength, refinement, harmony etc. stand for external and internal qualities. Yet, isnt that one of
those Darwinistish programs in my mind that makes sure that I only attracted to those with the highest rating survival attributes. It
probably is. 

So what about unconditional love or loving ugly people? Ugly people may have beautiful minds, or great hearts. Loving them
because of these opulences would still not be unconditional love.  

Yet I discovered a different angle to the situation, a perspective that explains a lot more to me. Love is an energy that can only be
handled when there is a certain attitude. Basically one has to be in a loving frame of mind to receive love as well as to give love.
Love is a subtle energy a certain type of chi that can be send through space and time, yet it seems to move best at Tai Chi Speed. 

The energy of love can be taken from the Earth Mother through our foot chakras and the root chakra; it can be taken from the
Heavens through the crown chakra and the celestial chakras above. Love can be received from angels about any time you ask or
you can pump it straight from the own personal god source through the inner dimensions of the heart.  You can get love from the
planets and many different other sources. All sources have their different flavors of love but all the love comes from the same source,
God. 

Can you exchange love with God when you have issues with Him? (I am angry with God because He took my loved one, etc. He gets
blamed for all kinds of stuff.) Probably not. Can you exchange love with humans when you have issues with them? Not at that time.
Once I read about an experiment in the prison system where pets were allowed. The therapists expressed their amazement at how
hardened violent criminals could be so tender and kind with animals.  

The explanation is that the hardened criminals had issues with humans not with animals. With animals they could exchange love. In a
similar fashion some people can exchange love with the Earth Mother easier than with the angelic realm or with God or vice versa. 

Have you ever been in a bad mood and a friend came to cheer you up to be rudely rejected? At that time you did not feel it appropriate
to change your mood yet. In a similar fashion we have to ready for love and to smile, than the positive energies that have been send
towards us can be received. 

But what if we do not love ourselves because we are overweight, ugly, mediocre, procrastinating, . . . (feel free to fill in you favorite self
blaming). Wrong idea! Love is not a reward for being nice; it is a means of becoming nice. Love is a nourishing energy, the more we get,
the better we become. Love is the fertilizer for us humans to reach our highest potential. Even so called inanimate things start to glow
when they are saturated with love. 

Loving ourselves does not mean to become self absorbed in narcissistic hedonism, but to nourish oneself with the energies that will make
us feel good and manifest the best in us. Love is the drug! 

Now when I look at my inner dialogue I have to admit that not all my thoughts are loving. It looks like I have a lifetime of work ahead of
me. The mind is like a garden that should be tended carefully, so that no weeds of unhealthy thoughts with emotions may take over. In this
garden the grow all good fertilizer and transmute all weeds herbicide is love. Love is the drug. 

Going back to my initial question:

How can I be happy if I do not love myself? My answer is: I dont know. I personally can only be
happy when I am open to the nourishing energies of my world. 

How can I love others if I do not know how to love myself? If I cannot love myself with my flaws I will probably stop loving the object
of adoration once the flaws are discovered. Adoration is the willingness to see the highest in another person. Adoration can help manifest the
highest in a person. Yet, putting somebody on a pedestal means closing our eyes to areas that need nourishing. Such denial will lead ultimately
to rude awakenings when shortcomings are finally seen. Only when I can love/nourish/forgive myself in my lower aspects, I can do the same
with other people. 

Are loving my self and loving other connected in some way? Yes. The capacity to love is a skill as well as an attitude that can be learned.
The more love we pump to/through us, the greater our capacity to transfer love becomes. We will become transmuted by that love and
become more beautiful, just like people that are in love are. 

Love and Light 

Wolfgang

e-mail: heartsongs8@yahoo.com